Facebook Schizophrenia

Facebook is the great leveler isn’t it? There’s no way to present yourself differently to different people on The Book. The people who are your closest friends are updated with the same speed of information as long lost pen pals or potential clients.

It has made me confront that I behave differently around people from different aspects of my life.  I am more formal with some people and more light-hearted with others. It makes me have writer’s block here and elsewhere, especially since a few co-workers and clients are reading. I’m starting to wonder if there is no universal me unless you count a drastically watered-down, sugar free, G-rated me suitable for Sunday service. 

 But even Sunday service me is not always compatible with my job description M –F. I’m a litigator and to quote Cher in Clueless, “Daddy’s a litigator. Those are the scariest kind of lawyers.” Sure that is a bold exaggeration, but there is an expectation, particularly from my clients, to fight like hell for them.  I can’t be hugs-all-around mom or make-you-look-pretty photographer in the same breath that I’m trying to hold my own in a contentious hearing.  At the same time,  I’m sure my photography clients don’t really want to feel like I’m poised for battle at all times. 

It’s one of those schizophrenic realities much more easily dealt with when compartmentalized.  But on Facebook, particularly when selecting a status update, it’s all there at the surface and it makes me wonder if I am trying to be too many things to too many people.

There is no status that can be true and honest without potentially alienating some faction or friend.  I start to think – forget it – I’ll have a universal approach. It is what it is and I am who I am, but the thing is I’m all of those things not just one. It’s like the ridiculous Facebook quizzes. Of course no one is just one character from Sex & The CIty.  There are days when you have to kick doors down, and there are days when you have to write thank you notes. 

There are days when in heated negotiation, a case is settled with skills I learned from dealing with toddler temper tantrums. Motherhood and photography are great teachers in creative problem solving and most importantly, in anticipating needs.  I am a much better human being because of the lessons my daughter continues to teach me. I can no longer be one without the other.

There have to be others with this problem right? So, I ask the question I repeatedly ask myself when faced with these questions: WWCHD? What would Claire Huxtable do?   Claire’s status would be something like:
“Claire is helping Vanessa learn new math,” or
“Claire is on a conference call,”or
“Claire is getting ready for Parent’s Weekend at Hillman College,” or some such.  Claire wouldn’t even think about it. Her clients wouldn’t expect her to be a work robot. She would embrace all aspects of her life.
And so should I.

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